I know, I know - it has been eleventy billion years since I wrote last, but I have been busy!
Work takes me away from home 12+ hours per day, and that is on days I don't go to the gym, necessarily. In the meantime, the days until the show I have picked to debut Bronwyn at keep slipping away like sand in the hourglass - I am down to 20 days left, now!
In the meantime, I have gone back and forth. Every ride feels like it is either a raging success or a dismal failure, there is no in between. Granted, I have high standards for both myself and Bronwyn, and I needed someone to remind me to loosen up a little bit, and to not let myself get swept up in the details.
I had a moment like this a few weeks ago, when, after doing so well and being so soft and malleable in the new bit I bought her, Bronwyn started driving her head down and holding it long and low. Of course, I panicked. Finally, someone helpful on the internet reminded me that she is young and maybe likes to take her contact low - keep giving the contact, add some leg and push her into the bridle... and things have begun to resolve! At the time, I thought I had made a huge mistake with the new bit, that I was ruining my horse and I probably deserved to be locked up for being so ignorant. I seriously considered scrapping the whole show idea.
I had to step back and consider it, take some advice, and move forward. The important part is moving forward. Trust that I CAN do the right thing and that I will ask and take advice so that I will KNOW what the right thing is. I also need to learn to trust Bronwyn a little more, too... give her some credit... keep her mind busy and help her reach her full potential (then I fall into the trap of 'what if I'm not good enough for her when she DOES reach her full potential?!', but I digress). I had also found, via pictures and video of one of my recent rides, that I am unconsciously grabbing up the reins because I am expecting her to spook - it is not a balance thing anymore, it's a control thing. I am learning to let go.
Tonight, we had another fantastic ride (see? I told you, it's either amazing or horrible!) - she worked beautifully, transitions were wonderful, bending, flexing, carrying herself wonderfully for longer and longer periods of time. I felt truly blessed to have a horse like her tonight. I need to put all of the "bad" things into perspective once in a while so I remember how well and truly blessed I am in my life.
There is something about sitting in sluggy grass, watching your equine companion cheerfully fill herself up with some of the same luscious grass that makes you put things into view.
So, I guess my rambling moral today is... be sure to trust yourself. Give yourself a little credit where credit is due.
Loved your post. I wonder how old Bronwyn is? My horse is 5 and he sometimes goes long and low after the bit. My trainer / teacher encourages it and gets me to praise him when he does this. He's going after the bit and stretching his back. Yeah! Sounds like you're doing realy well.
ReplyDeleteI'm also at a point where we seem to have really great or really bad rides. I thought I was the only one :) Guess it goes with the young horse territory?
Good luck with showing. I'm going to give it a try soon too (hmmm, my timing is similar).