Taking Responsibility

It's Friday, I know, I am supposed to write a favourite. Thing is, I have something else on my mind. It's not really horse related, but it's applicable, and it is relevant, and it belongs to both of my blogs. Maybe this tough-love entry is for my benefit more than anybody else's, but hey - maybe someone else can benefit from it, too.

My life has undergone a few drastic changes in the last couple of years - it started with my brain, that part of myself that suddenly decided to find worth and value in myself as a person - the part that realized that if I wanted something to happen, I was going to have to work toward making it happen myself. That doesn't mean that I haven't had help along the way from an excellent support structure but that does mean that I had to start the ball rolling, nobody else could do it for me. And it's a lot easier to get help to get to your final destination if you're already on the journey - don't forget that everybody else is on their own journey and had to find their motivation to get onto that journey on their own, they don't have the energy left to start you out. This falls into the category of "you can really only help those who help themselves".

This also falls into the category of "fall down seven times, get up eight." Even if you have a couple of false starts, it is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all. They don't write news reports and history books about people who never had the strength to start the journey in the first place. When is the last time you heard about a guy who never waged a war against inequality?

What counts is that you don't let yourself down. If you're not happy with where you are, change it. This doesn't mean that you're going to go from homeless to rockstar in one day (unless, of course, you make it on some reality talent show, of course) - and I think that is the part where many people get frustrated and give up before they even begin. They get overwhelmed by the magnitude of their dream - they neglect to work out a road map so that they can measure their progress and consider anything except the realization of the goal to be failure. Start small. Make the small changes in your life that will add up to the big ones. Set small goals that make up the large goals. Celebrate the progress. Take it one day at a time.

Sometimes the progress is going to be just getting out of bed in the morning, looking yourself in the mirror and smiling, whether you feel like it or not.

Set a big goal today. Track the progress. Tell somebody - share it - make the good things happen for yourself. You deserve it as much as anybody does - maybe more!

Keep moving toward your goals!

(I am crossposting a variation of this today on both of my blogs, A Fat Girl & A Fat Horse and Love it, then lose it., because I think it needs to be said on both a healthy lifestyle vein and also the horsey vein!)

I love these little tidbits that I get everyday from SparkPeople.com in my email - they are almost always applicable to the personal emotional journey that I am on in addition to my weight loss journey. This showed up in my email this morning:

Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
- Chinese Proverb

A lot of you guys out there are what the horse world calls "re-riders" - which means you rode when you were younger and then life, family and/or career stopped you from riding for a period of time and you are now facing more free time, more free money, etc. A lot of you guys are here because you are both a re-rider and a plus sized rider.

It can be SO frustrating getting back into the saddle after some time off. Your body might not work the way you are used to it working - you could be heavier than you were when you rode before - you could be older, or have experienced medical/physical setbacks during your time away from the saddle. You may have your confidence shaken and all you can manage is a walk or a jog. It's frustrating. You want to be able to do the things you once did - or even if you've never ridden before, you want to be able to do everything right away.

I am a great one for getting some good steam going - a quick pace, and then burning out. I'm talking about various aspects of my life, really - weight loss, emotional issues, riding, career... Because going slow is scary. Being behind everyone is terrifying for me. I am used to excelling at life, being competitive and good at most things that I put my mind to.

When I graduated from high school, I decided to take a year off to work and then go back to university to complete my BSW specializing in Child Welfare. By the time I got back to university, I was already a year behind all of the friends I had graduated with - my mother graciously suggested, since I did not have enough of a student loan to both keep my apartment and pay my tuition and so would have to work through the school year, that I take part time courses. I didn't want to be any farther behind my friends, so I insisted on taking a full course load and working full time - to get to my goal faster.

The disadvantage to this is that I was so caught up in getting to my destination that I missed a lot of the journey. (For those wondering, student loan pulled all of my finding because I had worked too much and I ended up burning out and dropping out of university and haven't been back since - now I am way more than just 1 year behind my friends!).

If you want to ride horses, find a way to make it happen. Work toward your goal - even if you go slow, you are still going. As I have mentioned before, recognize your limitations and

KEEP MOVING, DON'T QUIT.

For the love of an animal...

At the end of the day, when an animal cannot make a decision itself, we are essentially the only ones who are responsible for doing the right thing for them. It is a heavy burden, and the right choice can sometimes be overshadowed by selfishness. Of course we want to keep our furry familiars with us, sometimes even when it is not the best choice for the animal.

A year ago today, a young woman who is very special to me and who I have mentioned in this blog several times as my partner in crime and sister made a decision to do the right thing for a dog that she loved very much. Bella was plagued by demons that none of us could really understand and after three years of blood, sweat, tears, and a lot of money to try to help Bella, my then 17 year old sister helped her best friend cross the Rainbow Bridge with dignity and let her find peace.



There was not a whole lot that Shay wanted more in this world than to be able to keep Bella with her... but she made the decision, as the only one who could, to cease her demons. Many times, she has questioned herself - even today, a year later, there are times when she wonders if she made the right choice. I know that she did. And so does Bella.

I spoke to a friend of mine last weekend who has an intuition for animals. She said to me that animals come here for whatever period of time they have, for a purpose - to teach us a lesson or show us something we didn't know about ourselves - and when their purpose has been completed, they leave us, to make room for the other animals that will teach us other lessons that they were not able to. When they depart this earth, it is their time, whether we feel that it is or not, so there is no resentment, no distrust of a human that may have to make that decision for their creature, because the time is right, whether we know it or not. I choose to believe this.

Friday Favourite: Courageous Comet & Rebecca Holder 2011 WEG Cross Country Run

Thanks to one of our Facebook Fans for sharing this video on the wall yesterday!



I don't think that ANYBODY could tell me that this woman and her horse are not athletes - and he is not an enormous horse, either - tremendous, yes, but enormous, no. Love the pricked ears and pleasant expression - he clearly LOVES his job and is not bothered by any extra pounds his rider may be carrying.

Miss you, miss you, miss you.

The Grandest Foal
Author Unknown



I'll lend you for a little while,
my grandest foal, God said.
For you to love while he's alive,
and mourn for when he's dead.


It may be one or twenty years,
or days or months, you see.
But will you, til I take him back,
Take care of him for me?


He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and should his stay be brief,
you'll have those treasured memories,
as solace for your grief.


I cannot promise he will stay,
since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught on earth
I want this foal to learn.


I've looked the wide world over
in my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
with trust, I have selected you.


Now will you give him all your love?
Nor think the labor vain.
Nor hate me when I come
to take him back again?


I know you'll give him tenderness
and love will bloom each day.
And for the happiness you've known,
you will forever-grateful stay.


But should I come and call for him
much sooner than you'd planned,
you'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
and maybe understand.

Five years ago today, my earth Angel went home. I miss her every day but I also know that without losing her, Bronwyn would never have come into my life. It is because of Angel that I have any passion for horses at all. I will never forget the desperate bond I forged with baby Rex who was still on his mom when she colicked and died that night. I needed him as badly as he needed me. I have truly enjoyed him this summer, and tonight it was, once again, he and I, in the barn, having some quiet time while I doctored the wound he got on his leg last week.

The hardest part for me was recognizing the lessons I had learned - both in Angel's life and in her death, and forgetting about the unfairness of it all. I remember thinking to myself that there were much worse horse owners out there than I - I even know some of them in person - and they get to keep their beloved equine friends while mine was taken away from me after only 5 short years together. There is something about some time and some distance that helps you to realize that nothing happens for no reason - everything has a purpose - and you will grow and learn from it all - even if you can't see that when you're standing in the epicenter of what you think is the worst disaster or pain you've ever felt.

With that said, Irene is just blowing into town for us this evening (she's mostly just a blustery evening so far) - I hope everyone's ponies are healthy, happy, and safe. Give 'em a big hug from Canada.

Friday Favourite: SUSAN HOFFMAN PEACOCK

One of my forum ladies posted a link to this woman's Facebook photos, which showed a couple of shots of a very confident and professional lady that was rocking white breeches and certainly not weighing 98lbs soaking wet. Talk about inspiration! I Google'd her name and found her website. Lady! This is not just a plus sized rider TALKING about riding (like I do!), she is DOING it - and she's DOING IT WELL - AND she is instructing others on how to do it well!

Short gist:

Susan Hoffman Peacock is a National Clinician, USDF 4th Level Certified Instructor/Trainer, USDF Silver Medalist and National Champion. She owns and operates the beautiful Hidden River Ranch in Corona, California.

Nothing to scoff about if you ask me! What an inspiring (and not to mention stunning!) lady!

CYA - or Cover Your Assets

This is just a fly-by posting but I thought that the timeliness of all of this crossing my radar was just too serendipitous not to share.

See Courtney King-Dye on her beautiful horse, Mythilus:



See Courtney King-Dye after her accident when she was not wearing a helmet, because (paraphrasing her own words), she was in too much of a hurry to put one on and because this horse "had never done a naughty thing": Riders4Helmets Interview (sorry, no embedding is allowed, you'll have to click the link the old fashioned way!)

And also, today's Tack of the Day deal is a ridiculously well priced riding helmet. If those don't strike your fancy, google Troxel or Tipperary and find helmets for every price range. No reason not to "buckle one on"!

Love and light and a real entry coming soon for you readers!