2015-12-15: Hi! You're probably here because you did a Google search for 'plus sized horseback riders' or you saw my content quoted elsewhere. There are a couple of things I'd like you to know.

I am still here! But I am living away from my horses and not riding often. I could tell you a lie and say that I am, but I have always endeavored to give you the truth here. As a result, I'm not feeling terribly motivated to write blog posts and I feel out of touch with the community.

I'd love for you to stay a while and look back through the archives. Visit the links listed below. We still have an active forum community and I post on the Facebook page from time to time.

I have tentative plans to try to get more involved in the horse world in 2016, and I will absolutely share whatever that adventure becomes with you, so keep checking back!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Miss you, miss you, miss you.

The Grandest Foal
Author Unknown

I'll lend you for a little while,
my grandest foal, God said.
For you to love while he's alive,
and mourn for when he's dead.

It may be one or twenty years,
or days or months, you see.
But will you, til I take him back,
Take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and should his stay be brief,
you'll have those treasured memories,
as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught on earth
I want this foal to learn.

I've looked the wide world over
in my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
with trust, I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love?
Nor think the labor vain.
Nor hate me when I come
to take him back again?

I know you'll give him tenderness
and love will bloom each day.
And for the happiness you've known,
you will forever-grateful stay.

But should I come and call for him
much sooner than you'd planned,
you'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
and maybe understand.

Five years ago today, my earth Angel went home. I miss her every day but I also know that without losing her, Bronwyn would never have come into my life. It is because of Angel that I have any passion for horses at all. I will never forget the desperate bond I forged with baby Rex who was still on his mom when she colicked and died that night. I needed him as badly as he needed me. I have truly enjoyed him this summer, and tonight it was, once again, he and I, in the barn, having some quiet time while I doctored the wound he got on his leg last week.

The hardest part for me was recognizing the lessons I had learned - both in Angel's life and in her death, and forgetting about the unfairness of it all. I remember thinking to myself that there were much worse horse owners out there than I - I even know some of them in person - and they get to keep their beloved equine friends while mine was taken away from me after only 5 short years together. There is something about some time and some distance that helps you to realize that nothing happens for no reason - everything has a purpose - and you will grow and learn from it all - even if you can't see that when you're standing in the epicenter of what you think is the worst disaster or pain you've ever felt.

With that said, Irene is just blowing into town for us this evening (she's mostly just a blustery evening so far) - I hope everyone's ponies are healthy, happy, and safe. Give 'em a big hug from Canada.

1 comment:

  1. I know what it means to lose a loved one. A couple of years ago I lost my darling Caesar because of digestion problems. I never got over him, and it wasn't helped when my other horse, Snowdrop got cancer, but thankfully I still get to ride him and he managed to pull through. My heart goes out to you, Amanda, but we not only learn lessons through the life of our loved ones, but through the death of them too.
    Keep it up!