2015-12-15: Hi! You're probably here because you did a Google search for 'plus sized horseback riders' or you saw my content quoted elsewhere. There are a couple of things I'd like you to know.

I am still here! But I am living away from my horses and not riding often. I could tell you a lie and say that I am, but I have always endeavored to give you the truth here. As a result, I'm not feeling terribly motivated to write blog posts and I feel out of touch with the community.

I'd love for you to stay a while and look back through the archives. Visit the links listed below. We still have an active forum community and I post on the Facebook page from time to time.

I have tentative plans to try to get more involved in the horse world in 2016, and I will absolutely share whatever that adventure becomes with you, so keep checking back!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

My horse reminds me to be a better person.

Earlier this week, I attempted to ride Bronwyn. Even though I did saddle her up, put a leg over her and put her through work, I wouldn't call it a ride. I was PMSing and she was clearly in heat (as evidenced by her atrocious flirting with the stallion while we were in the crossties, I mean COME ON, have some decency!) - we had not had any consistent riding since before the holidays - I have been lucky to be able to ride once a week during the last couple weeks. But I was ready to do some work, and I thought she ought to be as ready to work for me as I was to work her. It is, after all, one of my new year's resolutions to get serious about schooling (more about my resolutions in another entry, sometime soon, I PROMISE!). She must have missed that memo.

I demanded that she work well. She insisted she would not. Blowing through my leg, Rushing, rushing, rushing, counter bending when I was not asking for it. I got frustrated. I got a bit hot under the collar. And the more frustrated and demanding I was, the less she gave me. It was a train wreck. I eventually gave up, made her do something simple to succeed, and put her away. I was embarrassed that I had gotten so uptight, I was frustrated that she wouldn't work for me.

Tonight, I went out to try again. I was by myself, I had lots of time, I was determined to go out there and enjoy spending quality time with her - after all, we have been lacking in it lately due to the craziness of the holidays, you know. Tonight, our ride was what I would call harmonious. She did everything that I asked. She was attentive to what I asked, being ultra agreeable about it. I felt like we got good work done. Unlike Tuesday's ride, I walked away with a sense of pride. I was proud of how I had handled myself, proud of how she worked, and eager to push forward. We finished with cooling her out bareback, which was a nice change (note: she is getting WITHERS).

Every once in a while, she reminds me that I need to be a better person. That I need to be more patient. That I will only get exactly what I deserve, no more, and no less. When I am too prideful, she makes me humble. When I am impatient, she makes me wait longer. When I am demanding, she is rebellious.

But when I am honest, she is honest. When I am patient, she acquiesces. When I ask, she gives. When I ask, she gives. I ask. She gives.

And so... it is easy, isn't it? The relationship with a horse. It's just like our parents raised us. When you ask politely, doors open for you. When you demand something petulantly because you "deserve" it or because the giver "knows better" than to not give it to you, you rarely get what you are seeking.

And doesn't it make sense? This beast, that can outpower, outfight, outrun, outweigh and outsmart us will respect us only if we respect it. It's a good philosophy to apply to our lives outside of horses, too.

I love the time that I spend with Bronwyn. I love good rides, but most of all, I love when I can walk away and have learned a lesson that can be applied outside of the saddle, to my life, to my interactions with others. I love when my horse can teach me how to treat people.


  1. Great post!
    Delighted it all worked out for you both the next day - we all have our off days...horses & humans alike. Forgiveness is another great quality we share with our equines.

    Love your posts, can't wait for your resolutions one. I hope you had a wonderful break over the festive period.

    May 2013 be your year with Bronwyn! :-)

  2. I am constantly reminding myself of this- the days I go out to the barn with lofty goals and mind set of MAKING IT WORK- those are the days that things never seem to click. The days I go to have fun, and see how Rocky (my horse) is feeling- those are the days I usually feel in tune with him and accomplished. Sometimes we even complete those "lofty goals" I had in mind! Keep working at it! :)

  3. I couldn't have said it better! Over the years, I have owned seven horses and each one has taught me something different, something I have carried over into my everyday life, something that has made me the woman I am today. I only hope that they are as proud of me as I am of them!

  4. As a short, old and thin rider, let me say I think that so-called "fat" riders are in the majority and I'm glad you can be happy the way you are. The only riders I know that weigh less than 150 are under the age of 20. I saw only one reply on this blog from a "skinny" and she was tall. She pointed out that thinness causes limitations too. I didn't ask to be short and thin. Being old is what happens if you don't die first. How did society get so weight crazy? What matters is how you feel - if you feel healthy at 250 and fat at 350, so what? Enjoy your life!
    My pet peeve is the idea that ponies are only for children. Though short and arthritic, I still want to be able to mount from the ground if necessary. I prefer a mounting block. I can't ride for hours any more but I can ride longer if I get off and walk for a bit to get my circulation going, then get back in the saddle, even if nothing is handy to use for mounting. My friends put up with my infirmities.

  5. Check out The Heart of Horsemanship with Jayne Lavender, she teaches how we can be better humans from what our horses teach us. lessons for life and a better partnership with your horse